1 Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.
It is always the prayer and desire of every married couple and their respective families to have children (and grandchildren) of both genders. However, there are instances where couples look forward to having both genders but end up having only males or females.
Having children of only one gender, particularly the female gender, has never generated much controversy in any part of the world as in some African societies.
Several marriages have come to an end because of the birth of only female children in the family.
In addition, couples who never thought of going into polygamy (marriage to more than one female spouse) have found themselves in it, in the bid to have male children.
Also, couples who never planned to have many children ended up having a good number of them, after several unsuccessful attempts to have male children.
Unfortunately, when only female children are born in the family, the female spouse is always at a disadvantage. Despite going through the agony of childbearing, she is often despised and maltreated by her partner, in-laws, and, at times, the people in her community.
Most times, she is forced to carry guilt for being unable to have male children, which adds a great deal of stress and anxiety to the family environment.
These unfolding scenarios make one marvel at the level of ignorance of so many as to who at the point of procreation, determines the sex of a child. Is it the man or the woman? Without boring you at all about the biology of procreation (you can learn about that here), it is a known fact that the male spouse is responsible for determining if a child will be male or female.
This irrefutable fact raises the question, which happens to be the title of this post, Should having only female children be an issue in marriage? Before I answer this question, we must consider why having only female children is an issue of concern in some African societies. Out of several reasons, two take precedence. They are,- The male gender has always been akin to vigor, bravery, and heroism, attributes that are greatly valued during warfare and when strenuous tasks are to be performed. Meanwhile, the female gender has been conceived as being weak, timid, and subservient. As a result, it is assumed that having a majority of females in families and at large in the community will increase the vulnerability of such a community to the assault of belligerent ones, in the event of a crisis or war.. It will also place a heavy burden on the fewer males available to perform strenuous tasks. These assumptions may be true, but they have never been a reality. Today, with the advancement in science and technology, we see both males and females at par in so many activities, including warfare which was once executed solely by males.
- In Africa, the transfer of family names down several generations is considered sacred, and who else can ensure that if not the male child? As we all know, females drop their family's names during their wedding ceremony and bear that of their husbands.Therefore, the family name cannot be transferred if there are exclusively female children in the family. However, without intending to minimize the significance of extending family names, It should be noted that there is more to a person than their name. To put it another way, promoting people's values, qualities, and legacy should take precedence over fostering a person's name. What, after all, is in a name if not the values, qualities, and legacy it represents and which the female child can uphold even after taking on a new name?
Now, having established the facts that producing male children is solely dependent on the male spouse and that if given equal opportunities, the female child can achieve the same outstanding feats as their male counterpart, it is clear that no issue whatsoever should arise from having only female children.
2 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Children are wonderful gifts from God and deserve to be loved, cherished, and nurtured, not discriminated against on any ground.
1,2-Bible reference (KJV): Ps. 127.3, Gen. 1.27
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